Sounds harsh but honestly speaking – you’ll be better off without people that are not complimentary to your life.

That doesn’t necessarily these people are not good people, they’re just not good for you.

I think as you get older, you realise a few things a) that you generally have less time, so you obviously want to spend that with people who make you feel happy and they are relationships you want to foster and invest in b) you don’t need to be friends with everyone. In high school for example, you sort of fall into groups and sometimes people you have history with – whether it be good or bad – stick around longer than they should, based purely on the fact you have history!

They say you are the sum of the closest 5 people around you – so choose wisely…

Yvette King



You all know one! The friend that always seems to make it all about themselves – even at other people’s weddings! The one that always cries at the end of the night so you end up spending the best part of the evening in the bathroom wiping the mascara off her face, while everyone else is sipping on mojitos and dancing… Yep, she’s an emotional drain and you’ll usually spend so much energy walking on eggshells ensuring they are happy to avoid any additional fuss. These ones are also sensitive – managing their emotions isn’t your job! While this kind of behaviour is hard to really pinpoint when you’re all teenagers, when you start to hit real responsibility in life, the last thing you need is one of these types when you’re already stressed with your job, bills, partner, kids – whatever life throws at you!


Ok not the ones that are genuinely short of a dime. I’m talking about the people that only seems to take, take, take – whether that be letting you always pay for taxis or maybe you are constantly their shoulder to cry on but in your time of need, they are no where to be seen. It’s a lopsided relationship and sometimes when things are one-sided, the balance will tip. You may even start to resent them for taking advantage of you and that’s not healthy.


Let’s face it. Unfortunately there are some people who don’t have your best interests at heart. Sometimes they are also threatened by what they may perceive as your success or maybe you have something in your life that they are seeking – i.e. a healthy relationship or your recent promotion. They may react in the way of snide remarks, or go behind your back or they could also just make you feel bad about that particular thing that makes you happy, just to take you down a few pegs. Identify these individuals and keep at an arms length. Your true friends will be happy for you and your success, as you are for them. You should be there to support each other – not tear each other down!


You’ve locked in plans. You’re looking forward to that event. You’ve paid in advance and everyone’s on board. Or so you think. You get a text message – yep – they’ve bailed again at the last minute. It’s that feeling of disappointment, but what can you really say? If they say they can’t come, they can’t. If this is a one-off occurrence – then yeah sure – that’s absolutely fine! We all have those times we don’t feel up to it. But a flake is different. These people are unreliable at the best of times, have no qualms cancelling birthdays, engagement parties, baby showers etc, let alone a coffee catch up. It’s hard to work around these people and it can be hurtful when they dump you at a whim.


On Facebook it’s a little button and you’re done! But in the real world, last thing you want to do is be hurtful yourself to someone else. The first step is usually good communication. Explain to this person how their behaviour makes you feel. Maybe they were unaware, or maybe they just needed to be called out on it as it’s become a habit. But the other thing is… You can’t expect people to change. And if you are in a relationship with that in mind, it will never work long term – it’s an unfair expectation to place on them.

Ultimately, it’s a short life we lead – so make your moments count with those who bring out the best in you. And if that means eventually cutting them off completely, it might be something you may need to do. But while it may feel easier not to ruffle feathers and slowly phase them out, this might be the cruellest goodbye – no explanation and just a cold shoulder.

Anyway, either way it’s never nice, but you’ll be happier in the long run!


Written by Yvette King